Loading...
-
12 Stupid Things that Mess up Holidays
© 2022 Allen Berger, Ph.D.
-
STUPID THING #1
Take this holiday season as an opportunity to point out the character defects or short comings of family or friends since they will give you ample opportunities during the holidays to do so.CURE
Keep quiet about the problems or shortcomings of others, especially when you know you are right. -
STUPID THING #2
Expecting this year to be different than any other.CURE
Accept that nothing will be different if you haven’t changed. Expect what you expect. -
STUPID THING #3
Lose yourself in making everyone else happy.CURE
Make yourself as important as others, not more and not less. -
STUPID THING #4
Swallow whole and uncritically your family or someone else’s notion of what this time of year is supposed to mean.CURE
Personalize your concept of the holidays. Take the time to find the meaning this time of year has for you. -
STUPID THING #5
Expect others to know what you want or need, and to satisfy your every desire.CURE
Accept personal responsibility for asking for what you want and getting your needs met. -
STUPID THING #6
Accept gifts or help that are not given with an open hand.CURE
Only accept those gifts that are offered freely - with an open hand. Ask to be seen and recognized if your partner doesn’t know you. Take responsibility to create the kind of relationship you want. -
STUPID THING #7
Deny or resist feelings from your past or current situations that are triggered or surface such as resentments, grief or disappointments.CURE
Embrace whatever emotions or memories surface. View them as an opportunity to complete unfinished business after the holidays are over. -
STUPID THING #8
Keep yourself in a state of perpetual motion.CURE
Hold still and experience your feelings. -
STUPID THING #9
Expect your family to be more than they are, hoping this magical time of year will make them different.CURE
This is a false hope. Your response needs to be “of course” this is the way they are and things are - I can learn from all of these experiences. -
STUPID THING #10
Believing that family problems indicate that something is wrong.CURE
Problems are a natural occurrence in families and indicate that something is right, not wrong. -
STUPID THING #11
Give “Thank you for nothing darling gifts” and expect gratitude or, on the other hand, graciously accept “Thank you for nothing darling gifts.”CURE
See the people in your life and take the time to find out what is truly important to them. If they don’t see you then tell them you want them to get to know you better. -
STUPID THING #12
Accept uncritically someone else’s notion of God.CURE
Personalize your relationship with a Higher Power. -
STUPID THING BONUS
Expect that this year you won’t be disappointed.CURE
Embrace your disappointment and let it guide you towards letting go of illusions so you can get aligned with reality. -
Loading...
-
12 Stupid Things that Mess up Holidays
© 2022 Allen Berger, Ph.D.
-
STUPID THING #1
Take this holiday season as an opportunity to point out the character defects or short comings of family or friends since they will give you ample opportunities during the holidays to do so.CURE
Keep quiet about the problems or shortcomings of others, especially when you know you are right. -
STUPID THING #2
Expecting this year to be different than any other.CURE
Accept that nothing will be different if you haven’t changed. Expect what you expect. -
STUPID THING #3
Lose yourself in making everyone else happy.CURE
Make yourself as important as others, not more and not less. -
STUPID THING #4
Swallow whole and uncritically your family or someone else’s notion of what this time of year is supposed to mean.CURE
Personalize your concept of the holidays. Take the time to find the meaning this time of year has for you. -
STUPID THING #5
Expect others to know what you want or need, and to satisfy your every desire.CURE
Accept personal responsibility for asking for what you want and getting your needs met. -
STUPID THING #6
Accept gifts or help that are not given with an open hand.CURE
Only accept those gifts that are offered freely - with an open hand. Ask to be seen and recognized if your partner doesn’t know you. Take responsibility to create the kind of relationship you want. -
STUPID THING #7
Deny or resist feelings from your past or current situations that are triggered or surface such as resentments, grief or disappointments.CURE
Embrace whatever emotions or memories surface. View them as an opportunity to complete unfinished business after the holidays are over. -
STUPID THING #8
Keep yourself in a state of perpetual motion.CURE
Hold still and experience your feelings. -
STUPID THING #9
Expect your family to be more than they are, hoping this magical time of year will make them different.CURE
This is a false hope. Your response needs to be “of course” this is the way they are and things are - I can learn from all of these experiences. -
STUPID THING #10
Believing that family problems indicate that something is wrong.CURE
Problems are a natural occurrence in families and indicate that something is right, not wrong. -
STUPID THING #11
Give “Thank you for nothing darling gifts” and expect gratitude or, on the other hand, graciously accept “Thank you for nothing darling gifts.”CURE
See the people in your life and take the time to find out what is truly important to them. If they don’t see you then tell them you want them to get to know you better. -
STUPID THING #12
Accept uncritically someone else’s notion of God.CURE
Personalize your relationship with a Higher Power. -
STUPID THING BONUS
Expect that this year you won’t be disappointed.CURE
Embrace your disappointment and let it guide you towards letting go of illusions so you can get aligned with reality. -